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Blackbird Singing - JOHNNY LAW HEADS TO CINCY

Remembering the 5th Beatle
Posted On: 6/15/06
Written By:  
Tony Lombardi
JOHNNY LAW HEADS TO CINCY
YOU’RE NO GOOD, NO GOOD, NO GOOD, BABY YOU’RE NO GOOD ~ Marvin Lewis’ trigger finger has to be twitching uncontrollably and his proverbial rifle scope is zoomed in on the career of troubled Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry.  Henry has had three scuffles with the law since December ranging from hand gun violations, to a DUI to possession of marijuana.  The plot thickened even more as Henry turned himself in late Wednesday afternoon on three counts of an unlawful transaction with a minor – his fourth known offense in 7 months.
 
Henry was wanted by Johnny Law for allegedly providing alcohol to three young women, the oldest of which is 18.  Joining Henry in a little Wayne’s World joy ride were Monica Beamon, 18 and two other unnamed girls ages 15 and 16, respectively.  Besides Marvin Lewis, there are probably 3 fathers that would like a piece of this wasted Bengals uniform.
 
NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES NOTHING ~ And that meant something to Giants’ WR Plaxico Burress.  Burress wasn’t happy after being shut out in the Giants’ playoff contest against the Panthers this past January.  He failed to show up for the Giants post mortem following the loss to Carolina and he’s opted to train in Florida with Jeremy Shockey this offseason instead of with the team at Giants’ headquarters.
 
"I think Plaxico was just upset that he didn't have a good game. We're all competitive. We're all interested in helping the team succeed. A lot of people were frustrated and that's how he expressed it. "That’s from Eli Manning.
Manning who for what it’s worth in my opinion is overrated didn’t exactly set the world on fire either during the contest.  Eli was hardly coming with his 10 for 18 performance, for 113 yards and 3 interceptions.
 
WILL IT GO ROUND IN CIRCLES…WILL IT FLY HIGH LIKE A BIRD UP IN THE SKY ~ The New England Patriots are not known to cave in to the demands of a player looking to renegotiate a contract.  If they hold true to form, things could get ugly with No. 1 receiver Deion Branch who is protesting his “paltry” $1.045 million base salary for 2006 by holding out of mandatory mini-camp practices.  Tom Brady claims that Branch’s absence won’t hurt because the two know each other so well.  Gee Tom, I’m sure management loved hearing that!  Open mouth, insert foot…
 
CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE…HEAVEN ON EARTH WITH AN ONION SLICE ~ One burger that is hardly heaven on earth these days is the Roethlisberger.  Yet NFL message boards far and wide are making mince meat out of the Steelers QB.  As reported by Ray Fittipaldo of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, AFC North rival fans were taking their shots at Big Ben just moments after the accident on Monday when Roethlisberger’s condition was unclear:
 
Cantonbengal posted: "This is what I been waiting to see happen to the Steelers they all laughed at us when Carson went down. At least, Carson isn't [stupid] like Ben ... hopefully he might miss some time this season."
 
A Brownboard.com poster described Roethlisberger as "Ben Toothlessberger" and noted that he is now "right at home with all those Pittsburgh inbreds."
 
Another wondered: "who is wearing a bigger turban today? Bin Laden or Ben Ridin'?"
 
Not to be denied, Ravens’ fans got in on the act as well.  According to Fittipaldo, Revo2001 posted: "HAHA" followed by an expletive. A few hours later CRAVNRAVN posted: "Raven baby are now the favs to claim the division!"
 
Later in his report, Fittipaldo tries to conduct a little Psych 101 class to help him and his readers understand behaviors of football fans.  He calls on Dr. Paul Friday (no relation to Jack), the director of clinical psychology at UPMC Shady Side for the “just the facts sir.” 
 
According to Friday, “Posters on Internet message boards hide behind their keyboards and write things they would never have the courage to say aloud in public. He said posters who write tasteless messages use football and the rivalries between teams as a way of getting out their aggression in a non-violent manner. It's not necessarily a new phenomenon, just one that is more evident because of the instant communication that is available via the Internet.”
 
MONKEY, MONKEY, MONKEY…DON’T YOU KNOW YOU’RE GONNA SHOCK THE MONKEY TONIGHT ~ Speaking of carnivorous habits, when you break your face, endorsement opportunities will hardly be plentiful and Ben Roethlisberger is no exception.  The Steelers QB has been forced to postpone a $2 million commercial for Campbell’s Soup promoting Chunky Beef as reported by ESPN’s John Clayton in a blog piece entitled, No Chunky for this monkey.”  I wonder if Clayton could have gotten away with such a title if the motorcycle mishap was that of Hines Ward?  Such references once got Howard Cosell in hot water on Monday Night Football.
 
CALL ME ON THE LINE, CALL ME ANY ANYTIME ~ Some have speculated that the Titans might be interested in Kerry Collins.  I wouldn’t hold my breath on that one.  Collins reportedly turned down $3 million to play for the Dolphins.  With Billy Volek ready to take the reigns from Steve McNair and Vince Young waiting in the wings, it is doubtful that the sides could get together, particularly if Collins is looking to be a starter for an extended period.  Word is that Titans’ owner Bud Adams wants to showcase his prized rookie Young on December 10 in Houston.  Adams lives in Houston and as you may recall, natives there wanted local boy Vince Young on the Texans’ roster.
 
I JUST CALLED TO SAY I LOVE YOU ~ According to The Tennessean, Titans QB Vince Young while saying goodbye to his friend and mentor Steve McNair at a recent charity event said, “I just want to say I love you, man. You just don't know what you mean to me, man.”  Man, am I glad Steve McNair is in Baltimore!
 
SEE THE WORLD THROUGH YOUR CYNICAL EYES, YOU’RE A TROUBLE YOUNG MAN I CAN TELL ~ "Finally the drama is over. I'm here at a place I feel very wanted. I think this is a place we can win Super Bowls.''  Patriots’ homer and staff writer for Sports Illustrated Peter King, had this to say after digesting this quote from the newest Raven, Steve McNair:
 
“One comment: Can anyone read that quote with a straight face? McNair is 33. A battered 33. He has missed two, eight and two games due to injury the last three seasons. And if you listen to staffers who knew him well in Nashville, he was seriously considering retiring after the 2004 season. "Super Bowls"? With where the Ravens are right now? And with his tenuous health? That quote is why 90 percent of what players say at introductory press conferences ought to be used onstage at comedy clubs. I like the Ravens getting McNair and trying to make a playoff run with some strong vets, but to think this is a long-term fix ... I just don't see it.” 
 
YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL…TO ME ~ Many associate this song with artist Joe Cocker but not many know it’s author – Billy Preston.  Preston, died last week at age 59, after battling chronic kidney failure.  He had been comatose since November.
 
Preston has often been referred to as the “fifth Beatle” and is largely responsible for the Let it Be sessions coming to fruition in the form of an album.  According to Ringo Starr, "Billy, I saw a couple of days before he fell down into the coma.  I went to see him, spoke to him, and we were sitting outside in the sun in L.A. Then all hell broke loose and he never came to.  But as a musician, there was no finer musician, and as a friend, he was a good friend. It teaches you to live a day at a time. And live in today, not in the future. Make that phone call. Go see that Auntie you don't want to see or whatever, because you never know."
 
“Get Back” to your maker Billy.  Thanks for the memories!

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Posted On: 6/15/06
Written By:  
Tony Lombardi

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